I Let My Fists Do The Talkin’

A “friend” with access to a massive archive of every Playbill ever lent me this to scan. She did so covertly and somewhat illegally, though she commented that the archive has suffered from light-fingered acquisition in the past by less moral people who don’t plan on giving it back.

"How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" April 1962
(click images to see larger versions)

Cover b/w with spot yellow on the masthead. Oddly not the logo/poster image of the show.

Here’s the logo in a Tie-In Ad to take the “Original Cast Recording” home with you. I once referred to a Broadway album as a “soundtrack” and John Flynn gave me a mental bitch slap and a withering eye roll.

The main change from today’s Playbill bios—no Law & Order credits listed. (FLASH! Robert Morse has never been on ANY Law & Order! Terrible!)

The ads are a delight! Almost all for cigarettes, booze, and cars with the dimensions of drugstore candy boxes. And, like the Playbill of today, upscale makeup ads.

I wonder if you need a certification test to use the title “International Humorist”

There also is an article on wide belts.

ADDITION: After a demand for “More Morse!” from one J. Klausner, I have an unrelated screen shot from “The Loved One,” a fantasti-terrible adaption of the short novel by Evelyn Waugh

This is my fireside chat. Hello America. I have a matter of grave importance to discuss and the only venue appropriate for it is my little-read and even-less-posted-in blog.

Now, I don’t “take stands” or “believe in anything” normally, but I’m drawing a line in the sand. And then two dots above that line to make “eyes.” And then I’m going to piss all over it.

We all need to stop using smileys. Seriously. It’s gone on long enough. Unless you are a small child or the type of person who punctuates all their hand-written communications (done in purple glitter gel ink) with frequent hand-drawn smiley faces or stickers—in which case, you have bigger problems—there is no excuse.

Stop using smileys. I hate them and they are terrible.

My reasoning for hating smileys—irrational as it may be—is that the writer employing them is either too lazy or has too small a vocabulary to convey the tone he wants using words. Also he’s insulting my intelligence my assuming I won’t “get” that they’re joking without a symbolic command that I should be smiling.

He can be a Nobel Prize winner and selfless humanitarian, but the minute colon meets right-parenthesis I’m writing him off as a brainless clod.

Together we can band together to kill off smileys before 2012.

I’m going to put up a new Welcome to my Study Podcast every day (or until I get tired of it) this month!

They can be found here: http://welcometomystudy.tumblr.com/

But here’s the first one to get you started:

I have no idea what this video is, but it’s the only copy of this song on youtube

(Or as an MP3: http://gardinal.com/media/Would-Be-Goods-TheCameraLovesMe.mp3)

The best thing about the Wikipedia entry for this band: “fronted by singer Jessica Griffin, noted for her precise Received Pronunciation accent when singing (very rare in British pop music generally).” I have long been a sucker of James Cahill’s sojourn into grammatically-correct pop lyrics (the only song I’ve ever heard that contains “to whom” is one of his) , so pronunciation-accuracy is in my wheelhouse.

Also, Cecil Beaton referenced.

Also, ocarina jams!

Better than a blog for somethings. I have more than 1000 posts on twitter now.
http://twitter.com/dynamoe

@dynamoe “Highlights” (meaning, what’s on my first page)

Heard this term is “chillax?” It’s a combination of “chill” and “recreationally take laxatives,” which is a popular activity in the ghetto. 41 minutes ago from web

My parents are headed out to LA for the week. I asked them to pitch some ideas I’ve been working on while they’re out there. about 3 hours ago from web

My least favorite thing is when a dumb person talks to you like you are dumber than they are. Made worse in the form of an internet comment. about 6 hours ago from web

It’s a lovely crisp, mild night. Perfect for eating spaghetti alone in a dark, empty apartment. about 21 hours ago from web

Going to Dim Sum when Silvija is out of the dentist’s; then Mitch and I are going to Prospect Park to throw rocks at families. 11:48 AM May 24th from web

Thinking of going to the park later today. I hope the sun doesn’t play havoc with my peaches-and-chalkdust complexion. 10:06 AM May 24th from web

“Rosebud” wasn’t a sled. It was the Pope who had taken on the form of a sled. #popefacts 12:15 AM May 24th from web

When the Pope hosted SNL, he horrified network censors by cutting up a picture of Sinead O’Connor during his second number #popefacts 12:14 AM May 24th from web

When in New York, The Pope only eats dim sum in Flushing. He thinks Manhattan Chinatown has really gone downhill recently #popefacts 11:25 PM May 23rd from web

Pope Innocent XIII (1655-1724) wrote the shooting draft of “Multiplicity” but lost his WGA arbitration for screen credit #popefacts 11:17 PM May 23rd from web

The pope shits gold nuggets. #popefacts 11:14 PM May 23rd from web

One of Pope Paul V’s amendments to Vatican II was downgrading recording of DVD commentary tracks from mortal sin to venial sin #popefacts 11:08 PM May 23rd from web

Much like chocolate, The Pope’s flesh is poisonous to dogs causing vomiting, diarrhea and death. #popefacts 10:51 PM May 23rd from web

I saw a movie marquee for Duplicity and thought it said Multiplicity, as in the M Keaton clone comedy. “Why are they re-releasing that?” 8:29 PM May 23rd from web

Babies like the Ventures because “Walk don’t Run” is an aspirational, but attainable goal. 8:27 PM May 23rd from web in reply to MKupperman

Munchausen’s by Hudsucker Proxy, Intolerable Croup, The Man Who Wasn’t Therapeutic, The Big Lobotomy, Burn after Renal Failure 4:52 PM May 22nd from web

I’m mainly putting this here for my parents

Read an interview with me where all my libelous statements, pointless tangents and attempts to be humorous have been edited for space. Making me seem quite dull, but less hate-filled than usual.

My interviewer talked to be on the phone last week and, god bless her, had to transcribe the whole thing and then get it down to 140 words. Unfortunately, I am not a succinct, focused speaker (nor have I what would be called a “pleasing” or “articulate” way of speaking) so a lot of things didn’t make the cut.

Things cut from the interview:

My association with the UCB Theatre; general discussion the alt-comedy scene in NY

A list of the album covers I’ve done; general discussion of the pop-punk scene in NY

A short history of post-war illustrators I admired

My advocacy of a human cull and general endorsement of eugenics

Copious swearing, ethnic slurs and general abuse

My opinions of Wacom tablets (hint: not fond)

20 minutes of sobbing

My ultimate ulterior motive of taking over AMC from the inside and forcing them to show There’s No Business Like Show Business and A New Kind of Love every day like they did when I was in high school

Read the interview

The Del Twins question Don’s commitment to the scene and suggest his game-playing lacks focus.

Photo by Alden Ford; Bobbles by Mister Frothee

Terrible animation with good intentions; terrific song. This is their 1986 album London 0 Hull 4 . “The liner notes and lyrics reflect singer Paul Heaton’s interest at that time in Christianity and Marxism.”

FRIENDS PROJECT

This is my friend Ashley Ward. We had brunch 2 weeks ago, after a couple months of planning. (She is very busy often.) We tried to go to Shopsin’s (as seen in the movie "I Like Killing Flies") but it was too crowded so we went to Supper instead.

She is very Southern. She had a great grandpappy named Zelma and pronounces "father" as "deddy." We went to Tea & Sympathy (a British tea shop here in NY) at 11 AM and she ordered a coca-cola. Her high school was the site of a syphilis outbreak AND a redneck vs. vampires showdown.

You can enjoy her star turn in Disco Janitor

www.nobodyssweetheart.com

Last February I got a big box of Mad Men stuff totally unexpectedly.

I went to the AMC offices last week and when offered more stuff I said, haughty, “I think I’ve got all of it already.” But then I was dazzled by this—

and this—

—and two more Mad Men floaty pens. I have to figure out how to leverage them into something more grandiose and amazing. Or drugs. ...So now I have even more stuff. But I’ll give you some stuff. Video stuff—
UCB student Aaron Galbraith send me this “recap” video he made, which is excellent.
It pretty much tells you everything you want to know—

If you’re in town and can’t sleep, the Chelsea Clearview Cinema will be showing 2 episodes of Cakey! The Cake from Outer Space as the short before the Raspberry Brothers’ midnight screening of Snakes on a Plane.

One of the show organizers is a big Cakey fan and asked if they could show them and we could be there to do a Q&A or what have you. He actually asked us to do commentary under them as they played, but a big part of me says most of the audience (there to see snakes, plane, et al.) are seriously not going to care about our show.

But Cakey itself will be on hand to do a Q&A and shake hands (with its mouth)! You can touch Cakey if you come. That’s my pitch to get you to come see the show.

Two shows:
Friday, May 8, 2009 at 12:00am
Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 12:00am

The Raspberry Brothers: Snakes on a Plane
(b/w 2 episodes of Cakey! The Cake from Outer Space)

$15 (expensive!)
Clearview’s Chelsea Cinema
260 West 23rd St
New York, NY

FRIENDS PROJECT

These might be the only non-comedy scene people I know.

Last Saturday we took a trip to the Bohemian Beer Garden in Queens. Since I’ve known James he’s lived in NY, Chapel Hill, LA and Paris. The economic downturn repatriated him to his father’s house in Pelham a year ago and this is the first time we’ve managed to hang out since then, so we double-dipped and hung out again on Monday.

They were entertaining a guest from France so we went to the Rainbow Room at the top of 30 Rock, then back to the East Village for yakiniku and bizarre-amazing cocktails at Angel’s Share.

James is the creative engine, lead singer and sole constant of America’s favorite band, The Kung Fu Monkeys (previously drawn here). He is a snappy dresser.

Mufridah works as a teacher. The top scandal at school was an unknown student smeared another girl’s name in shit on the wall of the toilet. She tried to remember if she had held any kids hands that day. She is holding Angel’s Share’s "Quintessence," NY’s finest cucumber-based libation.

Previously drawn together 1

I actually did this a while ago, but I ran it by people to make sure it wouldn’t be considered "creepy" or "pedo" to draw Matt Weiner’s son. But now he’s a media darling and public person, so all’s fair.

If you haven’t been following the Arlo publicity blitz, here’s for starters:

• Arlo in GQ
• His Style Profile in LA Times
• His Q&A in the LA Times Blog

I have finally updated my website (there’s actually more on it than this blog)—adding to the about me page and the video page.

It’s actually just archivey stuff rather than making anything new—I put up embedded links to every video I’ve done (except for Captain Conspiracy and We Love Cigars) and brought back links to the portrait projects. But… there’s new graphics. Like this—

Silvija and I shared a train to DC on 4/10/09. We saw "reasons to be pretty" and "Exit the King" on Broadway the week prior. She was not wearing this outfit any of those times.

All people who are known for being good at one thing should have another secret thing that has nothing to do with it that they are also good at. Silvija is a Latvian Folk Dancer.

Second in a series

I’ve covered all of April. Now I have to wait and hangout with someone else before I can do another one.

My offer of free paint does not seem to have set the internet ablaze, so I’ll post something else:

I will draw a portrait everyone I hang out. Open ended, but I really don’t hang out with that many people, so this may crap out quickly.

(I also want to draw something besides suits, to be honest.)

Mitch and I had a drink on 4/14/09 at the tile bar on 1st Ave.

We ran out of money. He holds his beer like this for real.
Some guy recognized him as ‘Mister Glasses’ there.

First in a series

Are you in NYC and do you want some house paint. Email me if you want one of theses and can pick it up from me (LES, Manhattan)

Powder Blue (Semi-Gloss)
Benjamin Moore 2064-60
3/4 CAN

Niagara Falls

Lavender-Blue (Semi-Gloss)
Martha Stewart Kitchen & Bath 1-Coat
FULL CAN

Still Life with Dr. Bronner’s

Pine Green (Flat)
Pratt & Lambert
2/3 CAN

I don’t where this paint came from and it doesn’t match anything in the apartment. MYSTERIOUS!

So, into the vacuum left by QI, I have entirely switched loyalty to “Have I Got News For You.” And co-incidentally, the new season starts PRETTY SOON.

And, even better, the BBC site and video clips are NOT OFF LIMITS TO U.S. VIEWERS. We can actually watch them (the best-of clips & webisodes, not full shows). Check YouTube for full shows (not a great source… missing about half of last year’s run)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/haveigotnewsforyou/

I particularly recommend any clip with Boris Johnson, the greatest fictional character of all time. And if you haven’t yet, WATCH Brian Blessed Hosts HIGNFY, Loses Mind.

So, a lot of my local NY friends already know this, but I’ve been in negotiation with AMC to do illustrations “officially” for Mad Men on their site the same way I did last season on my own. Instead of being on Flickr, the wallpapers for iPhone and desktop would go up on AMC.com the day after a new episode airs.

The downside is that as a massive corporation, there’s a lot of “approvals” and “clearances” the need to get before something goes on their site so I have to do the drawing well in advance, the actors have to sign off on the use of their likenesses, the legal department has to sign off on it, etc. A huge change from when I would watch the episode at the normal time, draw for three hours and then put it up.

I have a big stack of scripts (not final drafts) for the first couple episodes of Mad Men Season 3 on my desk and I’ve been submitting sketches to AMC. I got a preliminary OK to put one of my roughs online, so I give everyone the first peak of a scene from Season 3, Episode 2