I Let My Fists Do The Talkin’

I think only the very rich can afford to be germaphobes in New York City. Aside from everyone having small apartments filled with crap and a constant flow of dust clumps in the air, things like “diswashers” and “garbage disposals” are a luxury here despite being standard lifestyle accessory everywhere else in the country.

My roommate eats a burrito everyday. I’ve never actually seen him eat this burrito, but I see leavings of it in the sink. It might be the same burrito over and over and he’s trapped in a time loop. I find burritos vile, especially beans. There are always beans in the sink.

I rarely eat at home. When I do it’s usually takeout Thai curry or tuna fish. I leave the dishes for these things in the sink for days at a time. I’ve taken to treating the sink as dish-prison. After an appropriate amount of time “doing their time” in the sink, semi-submerged in water and bean-filth, I declare my dishes rehabilitated and therefore, clean and ready for use again.

No visitor to my home will ever want to eat anything on a dish again. Good riddens! More disease for me!

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 19th, 2005 at 4:14 pm and is filed under Progress.