I Let My Fists Do The Talkin’

Are you over 80 years old and senile? Then perhaps you already shop at the Vermont Country Store . If not, prepared to be dazzled.

The web presence doesn’t really do justice to the catalog, which I picked up at my parents’ place this weekend, which seems more like a dumpster-diver showing off his haul. It was the highlight of the weekend, second only to seeing a squadron of tourists riding flag-print Segways outside the National Gallery.

The concept is basically “Why don’t they make anymore.” So this catalog digs up a moldering crate of Kraft Seven Seas Green Goddess dressing in some burned out attic and sells it to the public at $8 a bottle.

People who are vintage fans for the era they didn’t live in are salivating over Knoll egg chairs and original New Look dresses. The people who were there just want their Lollipop panties and Tangee color-change lipstick back.

When I sold lingere at the Hecht’s department store the summer after Senior year, the bane of our existence (aside from the constant defecation in the dressing rooms) were the grouchy seniors who bought the Lollipop panties that we stocked for some reason. They are the very definition of granny-panties… giant billowy cotton briefs sold 3 to a pack. Grouchy seniors always only wanted one pair, so they’d rip open the packages and try and buy one.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 25th, 2005 at 4:25 pm and is filed under Link Farming.