I Let My Fists Do The Talkin’

Don’t buy these…

The fluted shape is attractive, I like the idea of “light texture” and I keep getting tricked into thinking they’ll be MORE delicious than regular Walker’s. Like a dollar-fifty more delicious because they are fucking $6 a box. And there’s only 12 cookies in the goddamn box.

Unlike regular Walker’s shortbread, which taste mainly of butter and are basically a socially-acceptable way of eating logs of pie crust, these have vanilla in them. Which somehow tastes very cheap and phoney… like an off-brand yellow sandwich cookie you’d get at a shady bodega for some weird amount of money like 87 cents or 53 cents.

Also gross – Stoneyfield Yogurt’s “Caramel Underground.” Half-filled, unpleasantly-colored barf-water cups. Couldn’t find a picture online. Use your imagination.

Oh, fucking shit. I lost my driver’s license. Of course, I didn’t realize this until I was about to go to a rock show and got carded.

I’m trying to think of the last time I had to show ID… Valentine’s Day, maybe.

I’ve torn this place apart looking for it.